Greedy Bastards

So get this...in the miraculously short turnaround time of two weeks, the Illinois Department of Revenue has cashed the check that I sent them. For one dollar.

Genius

The Song Tapper is an awesomely nifty little do-hickey that can figure out what song you're thinking of if you just tap the melody out using your space bar. It is SERIOUSLY freaky. You'll swear your computer's psychic!!

Thanks, Trevor!

Just Throw In The Towel

A law professor at the University of Memphis has banned laptops.

Her argument? That typing notes keeps her students from thinking clearly. What she's REALLY thinking? If I can't play Party Poker, nobody can!

First Week Roundup

Well...the good news is that it's not strep throat.

Rapid Fire

1. I'm back!
2. Puerto Rico was awesome.

Doesn't Casa Bacardi look like the Scrooge McDuck Mansion in Duck Tales?
- The good: It was relaxing, sunny, and warm. The Bacardi tour was awesome and (surprise surprise market capitalists) FREE. Pina coladas. A craps table. Putting a dollar into the nickel machine and cashing out twenty. Lying on the beach with the sole concern of whether or not I need to reapply sunscreen. Perfect.
- The bad: Casa Bacardi tour direct quote from audience member: "Where's Santiago de Cuba?" quickly followed by "What's so bad about Cuba? I had a friend who visited there, and everybody she met was really happy!"
- The ugly: I have a semi-handprint sunburn on my back. Yeesh!
3. UCLA is in the Final Four. The Memphis game was a little less dramatic, but the Gonzaga game...wow! Was that Sweet Sixteen comeback win ridiculous or what?!
4. I'm not a big fan of Chinese food generally, but I love it whenever I go back home.
5. Even though I of course love my family because they're my family, I really really don't like them sometimes. I know. I'm horrible.
6. Discovered: On the airplane, sitting next to someone who smells like the bottom of an ashtray is actually worse than sitting next to someone who's 400 pounds.

Hasta Luego

On hiatus for the next few days because I'll be lying on a white tropical beach in Puerto Rico.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the key phrase "Sippin' Bacardi."

Newsflash: Paris Hilton is Stupid

Paris Hilton's personal pictures are up for auction on eBay. Didn't she have her phone hacked recently with like a thousand phone numbers going out and her subsequent shit-listing by everyone whose number was publicized? How does she still have friends (who are not also spotlight whores like she is)?

Thanks, ASL.

If the world came to an end, and...

If you had to choose...
	AIM (or other chat service such as MSN or Yahoo)?
	Or Winamp (or other MP3 player such as iTunes or Media Player)?
Free polls from Pollhost.com

I give up.

Reading (funny) opinions counts as studying, right?

"R-o-c-k?" Yeah, the "c" is silent.

And, for once, this is not a video.

Do you know what I mean?

You know how people have bad hair days?

I'm having a bad face day.

Finals, please end!!!

Project Runway Finale -- Collections Reviewed (Pre-Win)

Daniel's Collection

Two words: BOR-ING.

Two more words: Banana Republic.

What was up with the red sweater and satin pants combo?

You can find that at J. Crew!!

NEEEEXT!

Chloe's Collection

I loved it. Love the color, detailing, textures, and cuts.

My prediction to win now that Daniel has dropped the ball and Santino has been so OUT THERE in the past 10 weeks that they wouldn't let him win even if he put the second coming of Coco Chanel-Zac Posen-John Galliano-Karl Lagerfeld-Giorgio Armani-Stella McCartney down the runway.

Santino's Collection

Beautiful, some odd pieces, though.

Although I loved the gauzy crinkle dress during the preview last week, I really don't like it on the runway. Is it just me or did it make the model (who is obviously a size -2 or something) look fat?

I really should be studying...

But I've reached the point of no return.

Check out Broke Mac Mountain for good studying silliness.

I <3 you, Ennis and Jack!

Elevator Awkwardness

Baby Posner and odderie step into the elevator. She pushes "B" and "1," assuming he is going to the first floor. She looks down at her shoes, and he stands against the back wall. Awkwardness* all around.

Baby Pose: (in an attempt to be "social") So...are you studying?
odderie: No, I just like hanging out up in the stacks for fun. It's what the cool kids do.
Baby Pose: Funny, Adrian said that's what all the kids at Harvard do, too.
odderie: Have you guys tried that Shamrock shake at McDonald's? That's good stuff. Radioactive.
Baby Pose: Yeah, we had a farewell shake just last week. You should have seen Richard go at that thing. (sighs) Adrian is leaving, and it makes me so sad...



*Note: NOT the "they're about the jump on each other and make out like bandits" awkwardness. YOU PERV!
Note 2: Yes, I've taken some creative liberties in this retelling.

Those Tax Lawyers

Headline in New York Law Journal:

Ex-Cravath Lawyer On the Run for Sex With Underage Girls Arrested in NYC

Since I'm not sure if the article will link properly (subscription required), I'll give the one-sentence recap: Tax lawyer, married with five children, pays for "relationships" with two teenage girls, one of whom was thirteen at the time (in 2000) and one of whom moved into his Manhattan apartment.

Commentary: Gross. Stick it to the bastard.

Observation: This is probably the most publicity a tax lawyer has ever received.

Academy Awards Tidbits

A few of my own awards for tonight's Oscars show:

Query: Has the world come to an end now that Ludacris has been in two Oscar-winning movies?

WTF, Pt. 1: WTF is Keira Knightley doing sitting next to JACK NICHOLSON?!

Frustration: No more montages!!!

That being said, best montage moment: "Judi Dench took my eye out in a bar fight."

WTF, Pt. 2: Has Dolly Parton had ribs removed?!?!

Censors In Full Force: Referring to Terrence Howard's character in "Hustle & Flow" as a "dreamer" twice in the preshow broadcast.

Ouch: "Just for those of you keeping track of these things: Martin Scorsese, zero Oscars. Three 6 Mafia, one Oscar."

Dirty Comment: After seeing Ben Stiller in his unitard, Jon Stewart says "Nice to see he's Jewish."

EWWWW: J.Lo, LAY OFF THE BRONZER.

WTF, Pt. 3: What is Jessica Alba doing up there? Has she ever in any way been connected with an Oscar movie?!

Joke: "Bjork couldn't be here tonight. She was trying on her dress, and Dick Cheney shot her."

High Point: Three 6 Mafia -- EVERYTHING about their time onscreen. Particularly fond of the pimps and hos dancing. Think that's the first time the Academy has seen metallic go-go short shorts on stage?

Oscars are over and now I'm wondering...: Why wasn't Sin City nominated for an Oscar????? In anything!??!?

Wow: Crash a.k.a. 2006's Shakespeare in Love.

For Fans of "The Simpsons"

Oh, and even if you're not a fan, you'll still like it. :)

This video of the Real Life Simpsons is SO awesome.

And yes, I really really should be studying.

(Obligatory mute reminder for those who are in class.)

Thanks, Senator K!

The Oscars Post

Since I've only seen one of the Best Picture nominees (Brokeback Mountain, EXCELLENT), I really have no authority to be picking Oscar winners. Oh well, that hasn't stopped me in the past. Here are my predictions for some of the more popular categories based solely on -- what else? -- BUZZ. Heck, I'll also throw in whom I'll be rooting for based solely on -- what else? -- complete and utter favoritism (mixed in with a dash of irrational caprice)!

Best Picture
Prediction: Brokeback Mountain
Although Crash has been getting a lot of talk lately, I think Brokeback is going to ride out the storm. Ride out. Get it? Get it? Too soon? Never mind, I'll save it for open mic night.
Cheerleader: Brokeback all the way!

Best Director
Prediction: Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
This is more solid than the Best Picture prediction.
Cheerleader: Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
And don't go spouting that Asians have to stick together...

Best Actor
Prediction: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
Haven't seen it. *shrug*
Cheerleader: Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain
What can I say? It was the only one I saw (and I loved it).

Best Actress
Prediction: Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
Buzzzzzzzzzz...and *gag me* "sweetheart" factor.
Cheerleader: Felicity Huffman, Transamerica
Saw her on Oprah, and she is so gracious! Plus, that is a gutsy role to take for your big screen debut.

Best Supporting Actor
Prediction: George Clooney, Syriana
Iffy, they're all really strong, but you know Hollywood loves its eye candy.
Cheerleader: Jake Gyllenhaal, Brokeback Mountain
Why else?

Best Supporting Actress
Prediction: Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
The Globes win, but she'll always be that girl in "Enemy at the Gates" to me. It seems like Hollywood could get feisty on these supporting categories, so I'll choose a random cheerleader...
Cheerleader: Amy Adams, Junebug
Just because I love the title of her film.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Prediction: Brokeback Mountain
Duh.
Cheerleader: Duh...

Best Original Screenplay
Prediction: Crash
It's set in LA and has a bunch of stars in it. It has to win something.
Cheerleader: The Squid and the Whale
No reason. Just 'cause.

Best Documentary
Prediction: Murderball
No reason, I just don't think it's as cut-and-dry as "March of the Penguins made a gazillion dollars." There ARE three strong (i.e. recognizable) contenders.
Cheerleader: March of the Penguins
But I sure do like those penguins...

Best Animated Film
Prediction: Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit
I'd say Howl's Moving Castle, but Hayao Miyazaki already won Best Animated Film for Spirited Away. Although Nick Park won animated short for The Wrong Trousers, the Academy will want to give him a "big boy" award for Best Animated Film. Also it was really cute, and the animation was a lot of fun.
Cheerleader: None really.

Okay, that's all I can justify posting for now. Back to learning about joint tenancies in real property.

Because they suck!

Instead of studying in these wee hours of the morning, I clicked over to Craigslist to see what kind of random stuff people were giving away. There are a bajillion "free haircuts" available, but if you look closer, you'll see they are only for "graduated bob" or "classic bob" haircuts (more often than not the latter, but sometimes the former).

Why oh why do these hair schools put so much emphasis on haircuts that obviously are not attracting much demand from even the free haircut market? Have they never wondered why they get such an unenthusiastic response to those fugly "bob" haircuts?

Edit: Okay okay, I'll admit I know maybe two people who have bob haircuts and look good with them. But let's be honest...these cuts don't work for like 98% of the haircutting population!

Edit Part Deux: On an unrelated editing note, I understand even more why people think Craigslist has some crazy stuff. There's an ad on the "barter" forum with the title "ADULTS ONLY - EROTIC/BDSM "TOY" for iPod Nano 4 gig or ? - $300" and the following erm...item up for barter:

I should be studying...

But instead, I found this AWESOME video. You learn something new every day!

(Don't forget to turn off your sound in class.)

Can you?

This is really pathetic. According to a recent study, only one in four Americans can name more than one of the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment.

Maybe it's time to start watching Jon Stewart.

He was on Oprah for five minutes, and I laughed out loud five times...at the gym...with other people there.

You're either in...or you're out. a.k.a. The Project Runway Post

Wow, Daniel's collection is kind of...bland.

Chloe's balloon dress is kind of...hideous.

And Santino's gauzy dress is kind of...beautiful.

I HATE to say it, but is there an upset in the works here?!??!!???

Also, I am a big fan of hats, but has anybody wondered why Santino keeps wearing hats that don't seem to fit his head?

And OH MY GOD, "even if you put pasties and a friggin' maxi pad on the thirteenth model and send her down the runway, I don't care anymore" is the quote of the entire season.

3L-itis Redux

Previously, I tried to convince myself I could teach myself Tax in six days. That turned out perfectly fine shockingly enough.

Now I'm trying to tell myself I can teach myself Trusts & Estates in seven days, Legal Profession in one day, and Corporate Tax in two and a half days. Call me crazy, but I am feeling much less confident about this finals season. Let's just say the words "bite," "more," and "chew" are on auto-scroll through my brain.

Perhaps it has something to do with this being the first time since 1L year that I have three finals to face. Yeesh.

New resolution for next quarter: Do at least half of the reading by the time finals roll around!

...I'm too much of a realist to resolve to do all of it.