One of the drawbacks to being friends/chatty with one of your parents is you end up hearing the dirt. The bad stuff. The "I don't think I should be hearing this" stuff.
And it makes you wonder..."why?"
Why...all of it?
You may always be just a "dumb kid" in their eyes, but at this point, are you ever actually still a kid after hearing all the dirt?
And then you think...maybe it would be better off...different.
And then you think you're a traitor (to your parent, to your other parent, to your sibling, to your family) for thinking that.