A "Seinfeld" Episode: Birdbrained

I don't/didn't watch "Seinfeld," and I personally think it's pretty dumb. However, tonight I had a distinctly "Seinfeld" moment (as confirmed by an avid watcher of "Seinfeld").

As I threw open the living room window, I slid my birdfeeder (which was suctioned to the window's surface) right off the window and watched in horror as the feeder fell to its presumed demise five floors below. I stuck my head out of the window, all the while thinking a-mile-a-minute dire thoughts about liability, how a quarter dropped off the Empire State building can kill someone, etc etc.

I looked down...and breathed a gust of relief that, due to the construction they are currently doing on my roof (which has yielded heavy work boots-stomping on my ceiling at 8am -- a whole OTHER rant I could go into), there was scaffolding below that stopped said birdfeeder one story before hitting street a.k.a. liability level.

As my visitors and I got a laugh out of the Birdfeeder Incident, I can't help but continue to be amused by wondering what the roofing gents will think when they arrive on Monday morning to see a sunflower seeds explosion.

Note to Subway Riders

If you are going to hold the railing above your head, please remember to put on deodorant before boarding.

Thank you.

Gendered Bike-Riding

I don't know how to ride a bike.

Now, growing up in SF, I never thought this was a big deal. There are HILLS there for Pete's sake! It's hard to pedal up HILLS.

Anyway, a friend of mine recently mentioned not knowing how to ride a bike is different if you're a boy (and not a girl) where boys should know how to ride a bike...and girls...don't need to?

I am not sure if I follow this logic.

Truffle Truffle, Buffalo Buffalo

I love truffles, but I hate truffles.

My point? What's up with chocolate truffles' being called "truffles" when the mushroom fungus truffle is called a truffle? And they are...completely different things.

Another example, courtesy of loojie, is the sentence Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. Now THAT is loco, no?

P.S.: And, just to clarify, my first "truffles" = the fungus, and my second "truffles" = the chocolate.

Um...I don't understand?

Obviously my high school education was lacking and I seem to have missed this class in between the AP US History and Trig...but...what's the difference between hanging out and being on a date? I just don't get it.

Jigga WHA???

This is the Jerry Maguire kid. Wow.

Thanks, dlisted.

Also true for a "Law Firm Chick?"

Satire, but a bit frightening for the accuracy of the diet-comped dinner dichotomy.

Discuss.

HOW TO: Get a Banker Chick (for the non-banker guy)

Confession

I know all of the lyrics to "Candy." As in the song. The Mandy Moore song.

Wow, I wonder how much viewership I just lost with that one statement.

Whatever happened to...

Tom Green?

44+ Hours Billed Already This Week

2/3 the money for 2/3 the work?

I'd take it in a heartbeat.